Dear Jesus,
I thought I had made my decision. I was writing to Franciscan to let them know I wouldn’t be joining them in the spring… or ever, but as I was doing this I was met with a deep sadness.
I don’t want to live with any regrets, and I feel that maybe not going to Franciscan will later end up being one.
Now, I don’t know what I want. I know that if I go up to FUS I will not do well. I hate school and am really bad at it. I hate cold weather and it makes me physically ill. The combination of those two things makes me doomed to fail up there. And if I go up there anyways knowing that I won’t do well, it would not be fair to my family who would be sacrificing so much financially to send me.
However, the community is so beautiful that it makes my heart break to think that I will be missing out on that. Over the summer, I got to know a good majority of what would be my class up there, and I love them all so much.
I know that if I don’t go to Steubenville, I will have missed out on that amazing community of young people who live to serve You.
I want to go to cosmetology school. I want to work at Disney. I want to make little girl’s dreams come true. I want to work as a CORE member.
I am being pulled in two completely different directions and it is tearing me up inside.
Jesus, help!
Love,
Elizabeth
Thank you so much! That is exactly what I needed!
Dear Jesus,
I am so lost right now. I don’t know what I am doing or where I am going or what I should be doing and where I should be going!
For the past few years, I have been dead set on becoming a youth minister. I have wanted to help teens the way I was helped and the way I wish I could have in the past. I’ve wanted to be there for those teens the way I wished someone would have been there for me and my friends. I’ve wanted to tell these teens about You and get through to them the abundance of your love.
However, recently, I realized my extreme hatred for school. I thought that once I was out of the high school environment and I could choose my own classes, I would like school, but I was wrong. I hate school! I don’t think I can do it for four more years.
This being said, I was planning on going to Steubenville in January to study youth ministry in the most Catholic place I know of. But now, I don’t think I can. Money is really hard right now, and it would be really unfair for me to go up there and not be able to handle the classes.
So, since I have realized that school is not for me (and I know that it isn’t! it wasn’t for my dad or Tania either; I think it must run in the family), I think that I could be a CORE member for LifeTeen. I have always admired my Aunt Carmen and the other CORE members at church for the time and talents they share with the teens. I have realized that I don’t need to be the youth minister in order to reach out to the teens.
Now, since I came to this conclusion, I had to take a step back and think of things that I really love and things that I am good at. The first thing that came to mind was Disney. I recently went to Downtown Disney and watched the little girls get dressed up as princesses with their hair and makeup and poofy dresses. At first, I was jealous of them; I wanted to dress up like a princess too. But then I realized, I could do one better, I could be the one doing their hair and make up.
So now, the plan is to go to cosmetology school and hopefully work at the Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique at Disney. I love kids and making people happy and doing hair and makeup so I think this is a good plan for me.
But every time I think about it, I hope and pray that You won’t be disappointed in me. I know You give us free will to do as we wish with our lives, but I want to do Your will!
Jesus, set me on the right path.
Jesus, help me to know if I am doing the right or wrong thing.
Love,
Elizabeth
A worried woman went to her gynecologist and said: ‘Doctor, I have a serious problem and desperately need your help! My baby is not even 1 year old and I’m pregnant again. I don’t want kids so close together. So the doctor said: ‘OK and what do you want me to do?’ She said: ‘I want you to end my…
(Source: princesselizabethrose)
Dear Jesus,
I have no idea what I am doing! I am taking classes through the community college, and I absolutely hate them. I have no motivation to do the work.
I want to go up to Steubenville in January, but I don’t know if that can happen. The money situation sucks and I am doing so bad in some of my classes that I don’t know if I will even be able to transfer!
I am completely doubting that I want to be a youth minister anymore. I am not sure if it will be worth the 100 grand that I will be forking out for my education. I know I still want to work with youth ministry, but I could always join a CORE team.
Jesus, give me motivation to do what I need to do in my classes.
Jesus, tell me if I am going down the right road, or if I need to pull over and reroute.
Love,
Elizabeth
Dear Jesus,
I want to thank You.
Thank you for sharing your mama with us. She helps me feel closer to You in a way I don’t fully understand, but completely appreciate.
Thank you for your forgiveness. I mess up a lot, and only You have the strength to forgive some of the crap I do. I love You for it.
Thank you for your sacraments. Through them, You shower me with Your grace.
Thank you for my many blessings. Thank you for my health, my family, my friends, my shelter, my food, my clothes, my pets, my sanity (though many would argue that I lack that), and any/everything else I have not mentioned.
Love,
Elizabeth
Don’t you just hate it when God tells you something that you really don’t want to hear? When he says “Do this,” but you are sure that is impossible?
[Can I just throw in here that God does talk to us, He does send us messages when we need to hear them the most]
Obviously I don’t really hate this. But honestly, I think I need to channel some Noah or Jonah or Moses or something to get some advice on this.
Literally all week (Sunday to today) God has seriously been throwing these messages in my face (because obviously, the first time wasn’t enough)
What’s worse, this part I really do hate, is that I don’t think I have the strength to listen to Him. Do I want to? Of course, in theory, I would love to just do what He wants from me, but I feel like it is impossible!
The homily this Sunday was about anger, hatred, and forgiveness. Of course, Sunday being the anniversary of 9/11, the priest related it to that, but if you have read my previous blogs, this is something I have been struggling a lot with recently.
Of course, when I was listening to this, I was like “Okie dokie, God. I got it. Forgiveness… yeah… I will work on it” This is sooo much easier said than done, by the way. I have never really had to forgive anyone for wounding me so much; I think I underestimated how hard it would be.
On top of this, I feel like I have been falling into sin a lot more recently. I always get into this mentality, another thing I truly hate, that once I sin, I might as well keep going since I am already in the habit.
So, on top of my homily message about hatred and forgiveness, I have been seeing Bible verses left and right telling me to get my butt in gear and stop sinning.
And of course, you might be thinking, “Umm duh Elizabeth, like the whole Bible preaches not to sin; you aren’t that special getting all of these messages from God”
Well you are wrong! For example, 50 minutes ago, The Bible fanpage on Facebook posted this as a status “Proverbs 12:3 Sin cannot offer security! But if you live right, you will be as secure as a tree with deep roots” 19 hours ago it posted this “Ephesians 2:4-5 “But God was merciful! We were dead because of our sins, but God loved us so much that he made us alive with Christ, and God’s wonderful kindness is what saves you.” And then of course there are my friends that post Bible verses, and Tumblr blogs that I read, and honestly I know it is God trying to get me on track.
So now that I have been kicked in the butt all week, I am finally going to try to pull my head out of my rear. And when I say I will “try” to stop sinning or I will “try” to stop hating or I will “try” to forgive easier, I mean I sure as heck will do it! Because “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength” [I have always wanted a reason to use that verse, so YAY for finally having one]
[end rant]
Dear Jesus,
Give me strength when I am weak. Empower me to do the things I feel I cannot do.
Keep my mind on Your will, and distract me from my own; no better yet, help me to make Your will my own.
I am stubborn; I am well aware of this. Help me to use my stubbornness in the right way. I want to work at being a Saint, not a sinner.
Love,
Elizabeth
Dear Jesus,
I hate someone. I know that’s a sin, and I am supposed to love my enemies, but I feel like it is impossible to love him.
He has hurt so many people I care about, and I have tried to forgive him, I have tried to let go of my anger towards him, but I can’t!
I know I’m not supposed to judge others; God that is only for you, but I can’t help but think of what a terrible person he is!
God, it’s not even that I am judging him on his actions, because I’m not; although he has done horrible things; cheated on girlfriends, one being my best friend, lied to his best friends, etc. But honestly, it’s none of those things I judge him on; it is his intentions.
He never feels bad for doing any of these things. There are numerous girls he has cheated on, and he feels no remorse. He talks about it as if it is an everyday thing. His best friend, who has been there for him through everything, he ignores without blinking an eye.
I am pretty sure I wouldn’t hate him so much, if he hadn’t broken my trust.
Truth is, we were best friends. I let him in so fast which I have never done. I cared about him so much, but then he showed his true colors.
I am normally so good at knowing people’s character straight when I meet them. I am good at reading people, but I was so wrong about him.
And it hurts me so much that I was wrong and he betrayed me and people I care about so much.
Jesus, heal my broken heart and let me get rid of this anger and hatred.
Jesus, teach me how to turn the other cheek. It’s so much harder when we are emotionally hurt than when we are physically wounded.
Love,
Elizabeth
Dear Jesus,
Can you please help me understand something?
How can someone date a person, or even be friends with a person for the matter, who has been so cruel to their other friends?
My best friend is dating a guy who has been so cruel to the person he called his best friend. He literally has talked bad about him so many times, lied to him constantly about everything, and ignored him and bailed on him all the time.
I cannot wrap my mind around why anyone, knowing how he treats his so-called “best friend,” would want to be with him… or not expect him to treat them the same way…
Now I know I am not perfect, and I am not the best friend in the world, but I sincerely love and care about my friends. They are the most important people in my world, so I want what is best for them. I don’t understand how he can just be so mean to someone he supposedly cares about or even cared about in the past.
Jesus, help me understand people that irritate me so much. Help me get why they are the way they are, and why they act the way they do.
Love,
Elizabeth
Dear Jesus,
Today I drove for the first time. I was scared out of my mind! I was on a busy road, surrounded by giant metallic vehicles, and I was expected to keep, not only myself, but my instructor safe.
How do parents do it? No, not drive. How do they take the responsibility to keep their kids safe? How do they trust themselves to do it? How are they not scared out of the brains that they are going to end up getting their kids killed?!
I know I would be!
God, You are the ultimate Father; You keep us all safe.
God, I trust in You to keep me safe.
God, thank You for keeping me safe, today while I was driving for the first time, and always
Love,
Elizabeth
